The Parent Trap: Schools Continue to Bench Our Parent MVPs
Creating equity between different groups of parents is not just logistical; it is ethical. 
By Don Allen - Journal of A Black Teacher (2025) Editorial Opinion
In public schools, we believe that parent involvement is crucial for student success. In reality, however, schools sideline their best players, the parents, especially in low-income neighborhoods where help is needed the most. What we've referred to as "site councils" is now mostly pro forma. These old models were intended to insert parent voices into school decision-making. Today, they are mostly used as tools of compliance, meeting state mandates and district expectations, but not really partnering with families.
In the majority of school districts, especially in inner cities like Minneapolis and St. Paul, parental engagement deteriorates the nearer you reach the poorest schools. This isn't by chance.
Sometimes this exclusion is a strength, not a weakness; limiting parent participation in decision-making preserves control by administration or politically well-connected community members. Teacher-parent conferences, mock-site councils, and family nights are abundant, but they rarely address systemic inequalities in access to information, decision-making authority, or curriculum development.
Herbert Kohl's strong statement, "I won't learn from you," speaks to a belief that is too often not present in the way school leaders work with parents (Kohl, 1994). All too often, school leaders do not ask for or learn from parents' real lives, especially parents who are of color or from low-income backgrounds. Instead, they view parents as unknowing, as parents needing to be "brought up to speed," instead of valuing the social and cultural knowledge that parents bring.
Peter Block (2008) states that community is truly established when individuals move beyond merely consuming what institutions provide and begin to assist in creating transformation. This is the significant transformation our schools need. Genuine community involvement implies that parents are not merely viewed as visitors or helpers, but rather as collaborators in establishing school culture, determining academic standards, and resolving issues. Block's approach to community building encourages mutual responsibility and accountability that are frequently absent from a majority of school-family connections. To update antiquated site council models, districts need to think about how they allocate roles, share information, and distribute power. Among the options is the creation of parent workgroups that are focused on equity and are divided into their work: information dissemination, event attendance, curriculum input, and community support. For instance, one group could help with interpretation of school data and supporting families in understanding performance metrics. Another could engage in planning events that are inclusive and representative of the school's diversity. A third could collaborate with teachers to discuss curriculum and recommend pedagogy of cultural relevance.
Creating equity between groups of parents is not just pragmatic; it is ethical. White middle-class parents are more comfortable operating in educational bureaucracies, holding meetings, or protesting policy. Schools have to offset this by providing translated documents, flexible meeting schedules, food, childcare, and stipends for attendance, especially when engaging families from groups who have been traditionally treated inequitably. This is not "charity"; this is a matter of equity. Parent involvement must not be limited to the educated and affluent. It must be a right that is afforded equally to all regions and income brackets.
Here in the Twin Cities, this injustice is stark.
Minnesota Department of Education reports show that family involvement in schools with over 75% poverty is less than half that of more affluent suburban schools (MDE, 2023). There are many reasons for this, including not having enough time, child-rearing duties, transportation issues, and lack of trust, but these obstacles can be overcome.
More troubling is the observation in a number of community interviews that some school leaders intentionally do not empower specific parent groups because their activities would disrupt the status quo. If schools are serious about equity, they need to make sure that everyone is able to take part in decisions and change how they communicate with parents from the very start. The present system of newsletters, robocalls, or parent liaisons is not enough. We need tools that facilitate continuous dialogue, not one-time messages. The message is clear: parents are not just listeners; they need to help develop the plans. Rebuilding parent-opinion-based school systems also means hiring and training teachers to learn with parents. When teachers and leaders recognize that parents, especially those in low-income communities, possess knowledge instead of opinions, we create space for shared power. As Kohl (1994) suggests, learning is relational, and when we refuse to learn from families, we truncate our own growth as educators. It is not just that parents get involved, but we have to build trust. Parents who are consistently shut out lose trust in the system. But when we consider parents as very significant, not necessarily because they are flawless, but because they are vital, we get closer to a school model that is community-centered. Let us not look back ten years from now and realize that we had the right people to begin with, yet did not let them get involved.
Block, P. (2008). Community: The structure of belonging. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.
Kohl, H. (1994). I won't learn from you: And other thoughts on creative maladjustment. The New Press.
Minnesota Department of Education. (2023). Family engagement and equity report. [https://education.mn.gov/MDE/dse/fam/engage/](https://education.mn.gov/MDE/dse/fam/engage/)
In public schools, we believe that parent involvement is crucial for student success. In reality, however, schools sideline their best players, the parents, especially in low-income neighborhoods where help is needed the most. What we've referred to as "site councils" is now mostly pro forma. These old models were intended to insert parent voices into school decision-making. Today, they are mostly used as tools of compliance, meeting state mandates and district expectations, but not really partnering with families.
In the majority of school districts, especially in inner cities like Minneapolis and St. Paul, parental engagement deteriorates the nearer you reach the poorest schools. This isn't by chance.
Sometimes this exclusion is a strength, not a weakness; limiting parent participation in decision-making preserves control by administration or politically well-connected community members. Teacher-parent conferences, mock-site councils, and family nights are abundant, but they rarely address systemic inequalities in access to information, decision-making authority, or curriculum development.
Herbert Kohl's strong statement, "I won't learn from you," speaks to a belief that is too often not present in the way school leaders work with parents (Kohl, 1994). All too often, school leaders do not ask for or learn from parents' real lives, especially parents who are of color or from low-income backgrounds. Instead, they view parents as unknowing, as parents needing to be "brought up to speed," instead of valuing the social and cultural knowledge that parents bring.
Peter Block (2008) states that community is truly established when individuals move beyond merely consuming what institutions provide and begin to assist in creating transformation. This is the significant transformation our schools need. Genuine community involvement implies that parents are not merely viewed as visitors or helpers, but rather as collaborators in establishing school culture, determining academic standards, and resolving issues. Block's approach to community building encourages mutual responsibility and accountability that are frequently absent from a majority of school-family connections. To update antiquated site council models, districts need to think about how they allocate roles, share information, and distribute power. Among the options is the creation of parent workgroups that are focused on equity and are divided into their work: information dissemination, event attendance, curriculum input, and community support. For instance, one group could help with interpretation of school data and supporting families in understanding performance metrics. Another could engage in planning events that are inclusive and representative of the school's diversity. A third could collaborate with teachers to discuss curriculum and recommend pedagogy of cultural relevance.
Creating equity between groups of parents is not just pragmatic; it is ethical. White middle-class parents are more comfortable operating in educational bureaucracies, holding meetings, or protesting policy. Schools have to offset this by providing translated documents, flexible meeting schedules, food, childcare, and stipends for attendance, especially when engaging families from groups who have been traditionally treated inequitably. This is not "charity"; this is a matter of equity. Parent involvement must not be limited to the educated and affluent. It must be a right that is afforded equally to all regions and income brackets.
Here in the Twin Cities, this injustice is stark.
Minnesota Department of Education reports show that family involvement in schools with over 75% poverty is less than half that of more affluent suburban schools (MDE, 2023). There are many reasons for this, including not having enough time, child-rearing duties, transportation issues, and lack of trust, but these obstacles can be overcome.
More troubling is the observation in a number of community interviews that some school leaders intentionally do not empower specific parent groups because their activities would disrupt the status quo. If schools are serious about equity, they need to make sure that everyone is able to take part in decisions and change how they communicate with parents from the very start. The present system of newsletters, robocalls, or parent liaisons is not enough. We need tools that facilitate continuous dialogue, not one-time messages. The message is clear: parents are not just listeners; they need to help develop the plans. Rebuilding parent-opinion-based school systems also means hiring and training teachers to learn with parents. When teachers and leaders recognize that parents, especially those in low-income communities, possess knowledge instead of opinions, we create space for shared power. As Kohl (1994) suggests, learning is relational, and when we refuse to learn from families, we truncate our own growth as educators. It is not just that parents get involved, but we have to build trust. Parents who are consistently shut out lose trust in the system. But when we consider parents as very significant, not necessarily because they are flawless, but because they are vital, we get closer to a school model that is community-centered. Let us not look back ten years from now and realize that we had the right people to begin with, yet did not let them get involved.
References
Block, P. (2008). Community: The structure of belonging. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.
Kohl, H. (1994). I won't learn from you: And other thoughts on creative maladjustment. The New Press.
Minnesota Department of Education. (2023). Family engagement and equity report. [https://education.mn.gov/MDE/dse/fam/engage/](https://education.mn.gov/MDE/dse/fam/engage/)
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