What's the Weather Like? Thanks-No Thanks!

By Don Allen, Journal of A Black Teacher - (2025) (Image generated by Canva, 2025) Lenses : Satire, Editorial Opinion I was enjoying my own pleasantly subdued Twin Cities Monday morning when the announcers began to rave—no, preach—about the Almighty Storm. “...Updates in the 6 AM hour on how you should prepare for the possibilities of heavy thunderstorms with a chance of hail and tornadoes.” Yes, I was caught up in the hype, too. This is how it starts. You could almost hear the timpani booming under the Doppler radar maps: an angry sky god was supposedly hovering somewhere over Iowa, deciding which of its favorite metropolises to annihilate. Cue shots of ominous purple blobs creeping in from the west and north, cue anchor-desk gravity, cue dramatic pauses worthy of Shakespearean portent. And like every other sensible Twin Citian who's been conditioned to believe that neon weather maps are the new Dead Sea Scrolls, I made a beeline for the nearest Cub Foods. There, in a tableau wort...